This is not my ceiling
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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