may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
