I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
