he thought i was a dude.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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