In the future we'll all be gay
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
