Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
