Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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