So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
