i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
