Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
