so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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