we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
