i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
