I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
