It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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