Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Couch. On fire.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize