I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Randomize
