Nicole vs. Life
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize