he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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