If that was your dad, he is hot
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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