Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
