His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
