nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
