we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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