I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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