I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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