We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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