I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
