I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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