WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
