Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
