don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
