his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
