addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
