Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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