Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Houston, we have a blender
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
