She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
