she peed on how many people?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
