i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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