I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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