I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
i think im in europe. pls send help
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
