Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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