im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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