do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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