It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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