Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
