I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I love having hate sex.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize