bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
