dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
