You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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