you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
