DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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