You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
