Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He better not be in your backpack
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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