You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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