dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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