Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
OPIZZABONMYDICK
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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