Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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