when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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