i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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