I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize
