i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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