he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
