I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize