she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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