Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
