I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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